Dear Lighthouse Community,
On Tuesday, May 14 we are excited to welcome Chris Vineis to our Educational Speaker Series. As the president of Capital Partnerships, Co-Founder of Ohio Women in Government, and Founder in WTS International, Chris has had a lifetime of experience in public affairs. After attending the Nantucket Project several years ago and hearing about the impact of social media on children and teens, Chris founded Unite for Safe Social Media which “brings together the experts, the research, and the tools and tips parents need to navigate the perils of the digital age.” (https://uniteforsafesocialmedia.com/about/)
While many of our students are on the younger side of this topic, you will quickly find yourselves making decisions about when to get a smartphone for your child, when and how to introduce social media, and how much time is too much online. These questions, and others, will eventually surface while simultaneously receiving pressure your child that everyone else has a smartphone and is on social media. It is helpful to enter into these conversations informed and with confidence in the decisions you make for your family. In this regard, I highly recommend Devorah Heitner’s book Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World. She takes a balanced approach to children’s online lives and offers timely and supportive approaches to helping children, and their families, navigate the digital world.
As parents of young children, you may find yourselves navigating the more age-appropriate debate over how much screen time is too much. The United for Safe Social Media website has organized a host of resources including those from the Child Mind Institute, Common Sense Media, and Harvard’s Making Caring Common: https://uniteforsafesocialmedia.com/resources/. Regarding screentime, Hannah Sheldon-Dean offers the following advice, “Lots of parents worry about their kids’ screen time, but it can be hard to know how much is too much. To figure it out, it helps to think about your child’s overall health and wellness. Do they get plenty of sleep and exercise? Are they keeping up in school? Do they spend quality time with friends and family? Do they enjoy non-screen activities and hobbies, like music or sports? If all the answers are yes, then screen time isn’t likely to be a problem. But if tech gets in the way of any of those things, then limiting screen time might help.” (https://childmind.org/article/screen-time-during-the-coronavirus-crisis/)
The questions regarding screens, social media, and children’s mental health are mounting as our country faces record levels of teen anxiety and depression. Jonathan Haidt, author of the new, must-read The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness, attributes this crisis to the replacement of the play-based childhood of the 1980’s with the phone-based childhood of the 2010’s. “The ‘great rewiring of childhood’ has interfered with children’s social and neurological development, covering everything from sleep deprivation to attention fragmentation, addiction, loneliness, social contagion, social comparison, and perfectionism.” (https://www.stern.nyu.edu/experience-stern/faculty-research/anxious-generation-how-great-rewiring-childhood-causing-epidemic-mental-illness)
While these may feel like down-the-road issues, social media, screens, and mental health are important and relevant topics for all parents. Please join us on Tuesday, May 14 at 6:00p.m. in the Nantucket Intermediate School library for an important conversation on safe social media. We owe many thanks to the Nantucket Community School for hosting us and partnering on this program.
Warm regards,
Emily
Happy, Thoughtful Kids Grown Here
No parent is perfect. Mistakes, missteps, and moments of frustration are normal.
This week, I had a parenting fail. It was the third night of Town Meeting, and so the third night I was putting my kids to bed myself. All three boys were actively ignoring me. Instead of changing into pajamas, they were chasing each other around the house. After employing all the gentle parenting tools in my toolbox, I finally lost my patience and yelled.
Sometimes, even our best parenting strategies don’t work. When this happens to me, I like to joke, “I must have skipped school that day,” a lighthearted reminder that even those of us with degrees in counseling children make mistakes with our kids.
Child clinical psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy underscores the importance of the “power of repair.” Instead of striving for perfection, parents should focus on how they respond when things inevitably go wrong. Acknowledging our mistakes and taking responsibility through a sincere apology allows us to model healthy conflict resolution and open communication with our children.
Once we were all calm and the boys were tucked into bed, I apologized. I explained that my frustration didn’t excuse my yelling and that I was sorry for how I reacted. Repair isn’t just about fixing a single incident. Ultimately, it helps strengthen the parent-child bond and fosters empathy, accountability, and growth.
Warmly,
Julia
Teacher Appreciation Week |
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Thank you to PALS and the many parents who offered tokens of appreciation to our teachers this week. |
This week at NLS
